i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You dont lie about slip and slides
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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