What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
