Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
