What a fucking waste of an outfit
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
