Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My feet surprised me
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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