We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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