Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
