come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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