girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
