Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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