my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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