it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
