he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Can I color on your dick again?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
