i need an iv and a liver transplant
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The Olympian is in my bed
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
