I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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