I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
