Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
