Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
