I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
