Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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