So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
