i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
