Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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