I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
