whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
