She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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