So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
