You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
