I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize