He asked to "fluff my boner.."
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
