i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
