Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
