Do you still have your period?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
