That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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