I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
