Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Four minutes until I can fart!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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