in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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