Nicole vs. Life
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The struggles of a small town man whore
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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