Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
