His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
