I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
