hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
