How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
