I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
