i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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