carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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