doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
