no, he came in my armpit
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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