At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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