it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
