tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
