Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I touched a dick in church today
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
