How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I forget how to act sober
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
