just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I have grass duct taped all over my body
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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