Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My vagina is officially offended.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
