boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
