i just made my gag reflex go away.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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