its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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