we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
