woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
