I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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